Tell Joe Soucheray to "Cluck" Off!

This article was in Saturday's paper:

Joe Soucheray: Dumb clucks coming to Midway
JOE SOUCHERAY
Article Last Updated: 02/23/2008 08:21:05 PM CST

Jinny Kolar lives in the 1200 block of Seminary Avenue in the Midway, next
door to a woman named Faith Krogstad, who intends to raise chickens in her
back yard and hopes that her neighbors will raise chickens, too.

In fact, her group is called Midway Chickens, which sounds like the name of
a band that should be playing at the Turf Club.

Phyllis Kahn raises chickens on what she believes to be her private
Nicollet
Island, but even there, despite the presence of a significant high school,
Phyllis, who is daffy anyway, has a bit of room to raise chickens, and the
prospect of Phyllis chasing them is almost charming.

And in other neighborhoods in Minneapolis, I guess people raise chickens in
their back yards. It is probably happening all over the country, as the
closer you get to the country's tallest buildings, the more likely you are
to find the kinds of people who want to play farm, among their other
delusions.

I tried to reach Faith, but she is out of town. Faith is a coordinator at
something called Eco Education, a nonprofit environmental education
organization in St. Paul. Kathy Kinzig, who answered the phone at Eco
Education, said raising chickens is something Faith is doing on her own and
urban chicken farming is not necessarily under the purview of Eco
Education.


I have that sinking feeling that we are somehow paying for Eco Education,
just as we pay for the Hamline Midway Coalition District 11 Council, one of
17 district councils in St. Paul, which is neither here nor there except
that the Midway, the once mighty Midway, is virtually a petri dish of New
Urbanism, trains, co-ops, councils, community gardening and now chickens.

Chickens. Chickens on 40-foot lots.

Faith Krogstad believes, according to an e-mail that she sent to
prospective
chicken farmers, that raising chickens is somehow environmentally
responsible and good for the soil and that it teaches children where their
food comes from, even though from many back yards in the Midway you can see
a big Cub store or the new SuperTarget.

Because raising chickens to benefit the environment is not even plausible,
there really is only one reason to raise chickens in your back yard: to
assign to yourself a kind of progressiveness, or enlightenment. Nevermind
that raising chickens in your urban yard is going backward, not forward; it
is the illusion of self-sufficiency that confers the virtue.

No, I haven't forgotten Jinny Kolar, 65, who has lived in her Midway
neighborhood for 40 years. She does not intend to raise chickens. Kolar
understands that Krogstad acquired enough names on a petition to get
excused
from zoning regulations and that the Health Department, which you would
think might have a position here, apparently will intervene only if a
problem is reported. Those who oppose the idea, like Kolar, appear to be
out
of luck.

Also, Kolar understands that the chicken farmers will share the chickens
and
that the chickens will wander around on their own chicken bleep, that part
being good for the soil, I guess.

But Kolar, who is apparently sane, is worried that most of her neighbors,
who do not meet at coffeeshops to seek the pretend burdens of Third World
status, are not going to be prepared for what is coming: the smell, the
noise, the filth.

"One of the so-called chicken farms is next door to the playground at
Central Lutheran Elementary School,'' Kolar said. "Will that affect the
kids
on the playground? I don't know. In the absence of a chicken coop I guess
people have been advised to just cut holes in their garages. This could
affect our property values. I've been here a long time and I like the
prettiness and stability. But that will all change once the chicken farming
idea takes hold. And I feel that we, as a community, should think long and
hard before we let that happen.''

It sounds to me like Kolar and her like-minded neighbors better hurry up
and
find their own coffeeshop. Kolar is the true progressive here, not the
Midway Chickens.

Joe Soucheray can be reached at jsoucheray@pioneerpress.com or
651-228-5474.
Soucheray is heard from 2 to 5:30 p.m. weekdays on KSTP-AM 1500.