Secession!

[A good friend emailed this to me]

Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election, too, we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, UCLA, Berkeley and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in
9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

--Blue States

Obama reads Michael Pollan!

This quote was excerpted from a recent interview with Joe Klein:

I was just reading an article in the New York Times by Michael Pollen about food and the fact that our entire agricultural system is built on cheap oil. As a consequence, our agriculture sector actually is contributing more greenhouse gases than our transportation sector. And in the mean time, it's creating monocultures that are vulnerable to national security threats, are now vulnerable to sky-high food prices or crashes in food prices, huge swings in commodity prices, and are partly responsible for the explosion in our healthcare costs because they're contributing to type 2 diabetes, stroke and heart disease, obesity, all the things that are driving our huge explosion in healthcare costs. That's just one sector of the economy. You think about the same thing is true on transportation. The same thing is true on how we construct our buildings. The same is true across the board.

You can read the rest of the interview here.

American Stories, American Solutions

In case you missed it.... (I did.)

Fireroast Mountain Cafe in Minneapolis

http://www.fireroastmountaincafe.com/


I stumbled upon this little cafe in south Minneapolis today as I was delivering "Vote YES for Kids!" lawn signs in that neighborhood. It was very opportune, as I was extremely hungry and ready for a cozy place to sit and have a hearty lunch. This cafe is not only adorable, but also they've got great food, much of it organic, and books and other amusements. I snagged a paperback John Grisham novel to gear me up for a little work on my law school applications -- nothing like a little inspiration! I highly recommend you check this place out if you're in the area.

Strong Schools Referendum on KARE11

This is a great spot on the referendum -- Courtney does a fantastic job getting the message out, and the classroom scenes are adorable! VOTE YES! And, hey, why not VOTE TODAY at your city hall!

A Tribute to Paul Wellstone

Tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of Paul Wellstone's death. This day always brings a certain sadness and a sense of great loss to my mind, but his memory and everything he stood for gives me hope. I see that reflected in Barack Obama -- our future president! Let's win this for Paul!

Michelle Bachman incites Powell's endorsement of Obama

Ok, it wasn't ALL her -- but note the reference to a crazy republican in Minnesota -- that's GOT to be Bachman he's talking about!